silent treatment

By Jimmy Lim

Many couples have experienced this treatment in their relationships. Even though mature adults know that this behavior makes one looks childish and manipulative, they still behave this way. Why does it happen? One of the obvious reasons is a show of disapproval, displeasure, or anger. It is also a weapon to get even. Though both genders are guilty of it, it's been said that women are more skilled in this technique. Relationships will suffer if the silent treatment is ignored and when you pretend that it is not happening. This is especially true if it is your normal way of communicating your needs and emotions.

What can you do? Communicate. Talk. Understand each other. Nobody knows what's going on in someone's head. You have to remember that people, even those closest to you and have known you for a long time, can't read your mind. So you shouldn't assume that he knows what you are upset about. Even if he does, he might think that you are overreacting. People see things differently. Something that annoys you may not mean anything to another person.

If you keep feeling annoyed by your partner's behavior or language, it's better to take a look at your own attitude instead of trying to correct a person. What if you are the one who have set a certain personal standard and you get upset when you think he has violated it? Have you ever sat down to talk things through and discuss about each other's personal rules in the first place? Even if you have been wronged, do you think that the silent technique would correct things? Remember that the more you give the cold shoulder, the further you are going to drift apart. So communicate. Talk about feelings. Build the trust and respect.

What if you are the one who gets the silent treatment? If you have the desire to behave the same way, forget about it. In relationships, it's not about winning or losing. If you open up, you don't lose. Even if he still wants to clam up, you should give it another try, using a different strategy. When everything is back to the way it should be, you can have a heart to heart talk. And if you think that he won't listen, change that perception. It's advisable that you think positive thoughts and imagine better pictures because you create your reality through your thoughts.

The silent treatment may work once, maybe in the early days of a relationship. Don't expect that it will work the second or third time. If you do it too often, you will be ignored. The anger will build up, the issues are not solved and you will feel rejected, even abandoned.

Indeed, life is short. Don't let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today.

Borrowed from: http://www.ideamarketers.com/library/printarticle.cfm?articleid=415867

Thanks Jimmy! Very helpful